On May the 4th at 12:01 A.M. Castiel sends Dean a text that just reads: “May the fourth be with you.”
Dean drops and breaks his phone when he reads it, so overwhelmed and astonished that Cas just wished him a happy Star Wars day.
He has to steal Sam’s phone to call Cas and…
Dear Castiel,
Dear Cas,Cas,
I’m not really one for doing this sort of thing. Hell, I doubt this letter will ever see the light of day but I feel like if I don’t let out at least some of this steam I might actually explode.
I am in love with you.
I am so stupidly and hopelessly in love with you and that makes me so happy and so frustrated and so scared all at the same time.
I love your eyes. I love the little wrinkles you get around them when you smile. I love that stupid squint and tilt thing you do. I love your lips. I don’t think you realize how many times I have come thatclose to kissing you but I chicken out every time.
I love your stupid trenchcoat and your stupid tie. I love your voice. I love the way you say my name. I love that thing you do with your mouth whenever you try to
anunciateenunciate certain letters and that little twitchy smile you make when you’re watching tv and something you think might be funny happens.It would be easier for me to list the things that I don’t love about you at this point.
I just don’t think it’s fair to put this on you. Not yet. It’s not fair to you. It’s not fair to me. It’s not fair to Sammy. Sometimes I think it’s a good idea. Like, having something to come back to, having something you’re fighting for but I don’t know. It might just complicate things. I do know that…I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I’ve know that for a while, I think.
I want you to be the first thing I see every morning and the last thing I see every night. I want to get a house. I want to mow the lawn while you plant flowers. I want to go to shitty diners at three in the morning with you and eat pie and drink milkshakes. I want to spend an entire weekend on the couch with you watching the Star Wars saga. I want to camp out with you on the hood of the Impala in the middle of no where, tossing back beers and looking at the stars. I want to have barbecues in our backyard and hear you and Sammy and his wife and his kids laughing and talking at the table.
Hell, maybe we can have kids too. I don’t know if that’s pushing it. You’d be a good dad, though.
I just want you, Cas. I want you in every sense of the word. I don’t know if you feel the same way. I’d like to think you do. I’d like to think that…even
ifwhen you do reopen those pearly gates, you’ll…stay down here with me.That might be asking too much. I don’t know. I’m going to ask anyways, though. Once this is all over, once Abaddon is dead, I’m going to put it out on the table and hope that you’ll still have me, cursed or not.
I love you, Cas.
-Dean Winchester- Dean
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Will you look at her? My caretaker. All of that thorny pain. So beautiful.
